Hello all! Welcome to the inaugural post of Eagleland, and Beyond!, the globe-trotting, death-defying, soon-to-be-recordbreaking travel blog hosted me, Jamie Pirkle! This is a long time coming! My fruity friend had to help me set up this site first. After that came TRAVEL–duh! Over the last month I’ve been hitting up all the local spots, getting my feet sufficiently wet before taking the BIG DIPS across the great salty blue! I’m beyond stoked to get into the nitty and the gritty, but before all that rigamaroll, I have to start with the basics! What kind of storyteller would I be if I didn’t frame this narrative, huh? Let’s get to it!
Editor’s Note: Hey, it’s me, Apple Kid, his “fruity friend.” Jamie asked me to help edit and proofread his posts, on top of making the site and washing his car. He’s a charismatic guy, but I have my limits. I’m just going to let him go on and interject once in a while. Don’t worry, I doubt he’ll read these once they go up. He’s an “ideas guy,” after all.
Editor’s Note: Oh good lord.
My hometown, the ol’ stomping ground! I’ve wandered around this place my whole life, and I’m still not bored of it! You may think, Surely a fast-talker like yourself is a bonafide city slicker, a Four Sider! There’s no way you’re some sort of hapless bumpkin! Well, sit down kiddies. Papa has a truth to divulge: of all the places I’ve been (and have not YET been), Twoson remains the most beautiful, unmolested strip of nature you’ll ever see. So pure are its hallowed streets that they shine like silver, so beige is our humble, multi-story shopping center you’d swear it was naturally birthed from the fresh earth that surrounds it! The trees! Baby, the trees, how they complement the expansive swaths of farmland! Need I say more?
Yeah, probably, but we need to keep this ship moving.
The point I’m making, kiddos, and you better square up and listen here, is that Twoson is the perfect encapsulation of Eagleland, like a fine ambrosia bottled for the muscular, conventionally attractive gods of yore. It so represents the simple, majestic beauty of our wonderful home and the complex, capitalistic systems that hold it together like a steel vice. And our culture? The Chaos Theatre? The Runaway Five? That one blonde chick everyone talks about or whatever? Yeah, buddies, I can’t think of anything more perfect. You think Threed can match this? Those threeks can't even manage a cemetery. Like, seriously, come on.
I think I’ve made some great progress here today. Many adventures and more (!) await very soon! Stay post! Keep it loaded! Don’t miss a BEAT, and keep your finger FIRMLY on the PULSE of Eagleland, AND BEYOND!
Editor’s Note: I hope you enjoyed whatever that was. My goal is to keep this strictly text-based. If he finds out about public access, we’re all doomed.
